It is incredible to possess traits such as resilience, endurance, courage, valor, self-motivation, fierceness, agility, and fearlessness. These qualities not only make life more manageable but also make you unstoppable, unwavering, and undeniably a force to be reckoned with—an undisputed winner.
While it is undeniably appealing to present yourself as an unstoppable force that commands attention and respect, it’s important to acknowledge the effort it takes to become such a person. Experience is the ultimate sculptor, and your unique journey is etched into every facet of your being. It’s visible in your emotions and how you process them, in your actions and how you carry them out. Everything about you reflects the sum of your experiences, and your strength.
In Hindsight
As my friend Wachira often says, "Hindsight is the true weight of experience." While we strive to be intentional and purposeful, it’s only through looking back that we glean the lessons that truly enrich our lives. In hindsight, you gain the clarity needed to redistribute your strength wisely. It’s crucial to channel your acquired strength to the areas that need it most, rather than overextending it in places where it’s unnecessary. Misusing your strength can lead to unintended consequences—bending situations or people beyond repair, or worse, breaking them entirely.
There are countless stories of people who have misused their hard-earned strength, resulting in shame and regret. The most profound lessons often emerge from moments that demand toughness and grit. These experiences can break and hurt you, but they also make you tougher, wilder, and more self-reliant. In hindsight, you can choose to harness these lessons to grow stronger and wiser. However, if you remain stuck in the hurt, you risk misapplying your newfound mechanisms, potentially harming innocent people and trivial situations. You’ve likely heard the saying, "Hurt people hurt people."
The Burden of Strength
It’s not surprising that many people resist being labeled as “strong.” Strength, while admirable, often comes with an unspoken burden. Strong individuals are frequently expected to carry others’ burdens, becoming shields against life’s hardships for those around them. The acknowledgment of their strength often feels less like a compliment and more like an invitation for more trials: “Congratulations on surviving—here’s some more.”
People with acquired strength often possess immense empathy and a natural inclination to support others. This, however, can make them susceptible to feeling targeted, marginalized, or like perpetual misfits. The constant demand for their resilience can lead to exhaustion and a sense of being taken for granted.
The Value of Your Story
There is immense value in your story—the one about how you survived proverbial wars on your own. The story of how you saved yourself from situations that once felt too big for words. The stories of injustices committed against you, the heartbreak you endured, and how all of it shaped the person you are today. These experiences are not just scars; they are badges of honor, proof of your growth, and a testament to your resilience.
As you navigate life, remember to use your strength intentionally. Strength is not merely about survival; it’s about shaping the world around you for the better. It’s about learning when to fight, when to yield, and when to simply stand tall. Let your story inspire and empower both yourself and others, reminding everyone that even in the toughest battles, there is growth, hope, and purpose. Most importantly, when a situation calls for strength, do not hold back. Fight for yourself, if need be. Oh! And look around you. More often than not, you'd have someone keenly rooting for you. You do not have to be alone.
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